It’s been an emotional few weeks for me.  One of those times in your life when nothing seems to go right, the world seems to be imploding.  I know that it is not.  Mostly because I’ve weathered lots of these times before.  But it never gets any more fun.  Not even a bit.  

But it does get easier.  Not – hey, let’s have a party we’re all gonna die, but who cares, kind of easier – but every difficult circumstance we navigate through and come out okay on the other end builds confidence.  Not because we are so great or have contributed so much to the solving of our problems, but because we’ve trusted God to walk through it with us and provide what we need.  NOT necessarily what we want or what we think we need, but He has always provided – and with a purpose.

I went to see the movie based on Lee Strobel’s book, “The Case for Christ” tonight.  Angle after angle he fought against the notion that there might be a God, that there could possibly be a real Savior that came to earth intending to die, so that He might rise again – that anyone could rise again – that it had to be a hoax.  Time after time, assumption after assumption, all his arguments were shot down (by scientists, psychologists, doctors, all highly credible) until he finally stared at all the evidence he had investigated and simply “gave in.”  

This combined with the reminder in this morning’s sermon about all the prophecies throughout the old testament scriptures that were entirely fulfilled in Christ – one of the reasons the Apostle Paul took such a long time off the grid after his conversion – this all, well, it gives me a perspective that is much needed in times of trouble.

What perspective is this?  That the God of the Universes, the Creator, the Maker, the Alpha and the Omego (that’s Beginning and End for y’all who don’t speak churcheese!)  the Lord God Almighty Himself put a story into existence that has unraveled without parallel for centuries upon centuries and never once had a glitch or a rewrite necessary.  Every time the Adversary thought he had God cornered, down for the count, checkmated – God had already planned for that to happen all along and it played right into multiple chess games He was unraveling all at the same time.  I say unraveling, because He doesn’t play – He doesn’t need to – He’s already won.

But the point for me is if He can do all that – and He’s been faithful in SO MUCH ALREADY in my life, then I have to believe that He has already written the other side of my current trials and He’s got a plan for it all and His plans are always good.  I’m not naive.  Sometimes very bad things happen and we have to go through them.  But He IS there in the midst of all that BAD and His good is always worth even the most terrible of pains.

It does help that I am at a place in my journey with God where my self goals are more and more God centered goals.  The verse, “He gives us the desires of our hearts,” comes to my mind often and more and more it means in my own heart that the desires of my heart are conforming slowly to the desires I should have, because they honor Him and THAT is a very, very good thing.

I realize to some this all sounds like loopy-ville talk.  (Shrugging)  I’m okay with that.  No one said that being a Christian was a rational sounding WALK.  There’s a lot of FAITH involved and that can look pretty off the charts crazy, when you don’t have the SIGHT showing you all the FAITH work going on around us.  We might appear to be downright insane.  I’m reminded of Elisha in 2 Kings 6:17, “‘And Elisha prayed, “Open his eyes, Lord, so that he may see.” Then the Lord opened the servant’s eyes, and he looked and saw the hills full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.”  They were surrounded by the enemy and the situation looked hopeless right up until the servant could see what was actually out there for the battle!

I can’t see God’s Army, I can’t feel it, or even, most of the time, see the reactions of their actions.  But eventually, if I walk with open eyes and an open heart – I really do see God at work on my behalf in my little tiny corner of this amazingly huge universe.  So I keep on walking, trusting, and acting as I move forward, as if God has got this all under control – and every time panic rears its ugly head (and it does – and often) I stamp it out with a few good Words of Scripture and a reminder to myself of all that has come before and all that God has promised and sometimes – because I am a weak human being, subject to this frail and chemically interesting body – sometimes I cry my prayers into the spray of the morning shower until the Words of Scripture come to mind and Peace, without reason or understanding, floods back into my soul and gives me the courage to face one more day.

So I ask, where are you in this journey?  Are you still asking questions?  Wondering if the evidence really does support the belief?  Are you just starting out, and you think you believe, but sometimes it’s all way too scary and you feel all alone?  Or have you been through a battle or two and you’re gaining strength and fortitude for the next battle, excited about what God can do?  Or maybe you’ve been through a LOT of battles and what was once exhilarating is simply exhaustion and you’re wondering if you can keep on keeping on.  

That is where I have been for a while now.  But I know I will keep on keeping on because while I am looking at that tapestry from the ugly underside of my life, I KNOW God is weaving the whole piece with a mind-blowing beyond the imagination FABULOUS design on the right side and when I get to see it all from His perspective, someday, beyond the limits of this temporal world, I will stare in awe at the utter beauty of it all.  

And THAT, my friends, is FAITH.  And I am glad to say that I am holding onto a thread of it in anticipation of that day when it all makes magnificent sense!  I CAN’T WAIT!!!!