It truly is so easy to judge.  You don’t have to get to know the person, you don’t have to verify your facts or see anything from their perspective.  You just decide their way is different from yours or what you’ve heard from someone else is the truth and run with it.

I hear it all the time.  “Sally doesn’t care about anyone but herself.”  “Jane’s so self absorbed.”  “Did you hear what John said?  What a jerk!”  The litany of judgement goes on and on.  A driver cuts you off or goes too slow – we’re judging.  Someone answers you curtly and oh, yea, we’re judging.

And yet when I mess up, I’m always hoping that people will grant me an extra dose of grace – because I’m not feeling well, or I’ve had a bad day, or I just lost someone close . . . But the truth is, mostly likely, they don’t know any of that about me and I’m judged for a momentary lapse in mouth control, or lack of judgement . . . and the lines of demarcation begin to thicken.

I’m naive.  If there is such a thing as a deliberate naive person, then I’m one.  After struggling with several situations in which my husband and I were judged wrongly, unfairly – whatever you want to call it – without our perspective, I watched the stories grow, the people outside of the inner circle of what occurred trying to make sense of what they perceived.  It would have been easy to start spouting our version of events and forcing people to take sides, but having studied scripture we knew this would only promote dissension and so we chose to be lied about and pushed out of our own church after doing everything to reconcile with those who had a problem with us (which they never verbalized in any way, making it impossible for us to change or grow or mature in any way.)  We finally gave up and left.

We were told by the leadership that they knew scripture taught us to work things out and be reconciled, but that was not what was going to happen there.

So we have a pretty good leg to stand on for judging these people right?

I say, “NO!”

I don’t know the psychosis of each of those players, what demons they struggled with, why they chose my hubby to persecute.  I can guess, but I can never know what was really driving that strange train.

The only thing I do know is that Christ calls ME to forgive – seventy times seven – which I’m guessing in god speak means there isn’t a time when you don’t forgive.  That’s tough.  Sometimes the crime seems unforgivable and I will grant that some things are so hurtful and have such high consequences that forgiveness seems like an insurmountable barrier we cannot climb.

And that’s why Jesus climbs it with us.  He doesn’t ever ask or expect us to do this on our own.  He even states emphatically that without Him we can’t do it.  With Him, we can do anything!  And yes, it took me a long long time to stop crying, to stop reaching out to pick at that scab, to feel the pain of loss, to move on to the next step and allow God to reach in and help me start healing.  Even through the healing process, forgiving was beyond my understanding.

But the more we focus on the needs of others and consider them more than we consider ourselves, the better we are at forgiving.  It’s true.  There is a miracle that occurs in the center of our very being when we let go of our own needs, wants, perspective even on situations and allow God to soften our hearts towards the very people who hurt us.  We gain peace, that deep abiding passing all understanding peace that only comes from obedience and submission to the Lord God Almighty, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit.

I know it sounds simplified, way too easy and so not doable in the “real world.”  But our world as we see it is not seeing the whole picture.  The more we let God show us the true picture, or more of that true picture, the more we gain God’s perspective in relation to other people.

This is the God who decided to love His stubborn, unresponsive, disobedient children so much that He gave up Heaven, came to earth as one of us – a helpless babe, growing up and maturing into a young adult and then, knowingly, gave Himself up to those stubborn, unresponsive, disobedient, spit-on-your-face people and let them beat Him, taunt Him and finally nail Him to a cross until He died.  Just so that He could then rise triumphant over death and give these ignoramus children a chance at accepting that forgiveness and gaining real life.

Last week was holy week.  I’m not big on traditions and dates, but the celebration of the extraordinary sacrifice Christ did for us is truly worth celebrating.  And He wants us to do the same – live the same – forgive the same.  When we judge, we excuse ourselves from having to be forgiving.  When we forgive we allow that other person the freedom to receive our grace and move on WITH us as friends, brothers, a community in support of one another, not in dissension.

We, most of us anyways, will never have to carry a cross up a hill, beaten and battered, taunted by insults.  But we do have the privilege of pouring grace upon grace upon grace on those who we think have hurt us, put us down, slighted us, not appreciated our sacrifice on their behalf, in order that our love and grace towards them would draw them closer to the One who really matters.  Too often we grab at and hold onto the right to begrudge someone for their slight against us, when we should be letting it all fall into grace and accepting the peace that passes all understanding to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

To Judge or To Forgive . . . what will your choice be?

PS:  In case you have trouble answering the above question . . . Scripture says if we forgive, then we will be forgiven.  If we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven.  Sounds like a pretty simple choice to me!